Uncyclopedia: History Rewritten

I recently discovered Uncyclopedia, the encyclopedia full of misinformation and utter lies. It's a satirical look at, well, everything! Including hockey.

Hockey: a popular Canadian style of street fighting.

Wayne Gretzky: The most detailed accounts of the Great One's birth have been lost to the annals of time. Most scholars estimate that the angel Moroni visited Walter Gretzky in the year 1960 AD, with the promise that he would give birth to the "Chosen One". Members of the hockey cult, NHLPA, call this the Pronunciation.

Enraged by a possible threat to his despotic rule, Canadian Prime Minister John Diefenbaker ordered that all infants under the age of two years be put to death. Upon his birth, prophets foretold that a child was born who would be King of the Canadians. Enraged by a possible threat to his despotic rule, Canadian Prime Minister John DiefenbakerIn order to escape the hordes of warriors sent by Diefenbaker, Walter Gretzky fled with his infant son into the Canadian wilderness. There the Great One trained intensively in the ancient Canadian martial art of Hockey under the tutelage of Mr. Miyagi.

Hockey Night In Canada: Hockey Night in Canada is the Canadian equivalent of what in other countries is known as "Saturday evening." Every Hockey Night from October until April, Canadians sit glued to their television sets watching the double comedy act known as Don Cherry and straight man Ron MacLean, interspersed with 20-minute intermissions known as ice hockey. Hockey Night becomes every second evening in the spring, during the Stanley Cup playoffs. Translation to American: Monday Night Football

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